I’m sure you have heard the news of the school shooting that occurred in our hometown of Nashville, TN. Our hearts are broken. And just the other week, my team spoke with a school system who requested support after a middle school student committed suicide.
I remember working in a middle school in Arkansas in 1998 where a shooting had occurred. The Love In A Big World team and I were there to be part of the healing process. It was several months after the incident… after the news stories had stopped and many teachers had left. But the students couldn’t leave; this was their school. Some teachers chose to stay until these students moved on to high school. They didn’t want the kids to be left alone with the memories of that fateful day.
We found a similar scenario in a Florida middle school devastated by violence in 2000. Students and teachers alike struggled through the pain and fear of the trauma while longing to return to some sort of normalcy.
But what is normal?
Is it normal for us to walk around our schools and workplaces – spaces where we spend the majority of our waking hours -- without knowing the people around us? Let’s be real, sometimes we do not even take a moment to acknowledge another human being’s existence with a glance or a smile because we are so focused on the job that needs to be done.
When I worked at the Center for Safe & Supportive Schools at Vanderbilt with Dr. Maury Nation, we provided support to schools across the State of Tennessee around issues of safety and climate. We researched issues that schools are facing and then consulted with them in their buildings about solutions and successful implementation. When it comes to gun violence, is the solution for creating safer places metal detectors and surveillance cameras? No…the secret is relationships.
When Hendersonville High School was dealing with student suicide, they decided to take a preventative approach by instituting Advisory Period, a dedicated time of the week for students to build relationships with teachers and peers. By changing the culture – what we do, they changed the climate – how it feels. They created a sense of belonging.
Over the coming days and weeks, there will be much speculation about why the incident occurred here in my city of Nashville. There are a multitude of factors that will be difficult, if not impossible, to untangle. The challenge before all of us is not to withdraw from the people and places who need us most: our children in our nation’s schools. Instead, here’s what you can do.
Educators, thank you for your faithful service to our kids, families, and communities. You are on the front lines. Build meaningful relationships with your students and with each other.
Families, get involved. Volunteer at your child’s school throughout their school career, not just in the elementary grades. Attend their sporting events and other special activities. Communicate with their teachers. Get to know other families – invite them over for dinner.
Together, let’s build strong and healthy communities through intentional relationships. It’s simple, but not always easy. And it starts by looking people in the eye, sharing a smile…even calling them by name.
If a pack of wolves can change the landscape of Yellowstone National Park, then, I believe, we can bring hope and healing to our kids, families, schools, and communities. Let’s make sure each and every person – young and old -- feels seen, known, valued, and loved.
About the author
Tamara Fyke is an educator and social entrepreneur with a passion for kids, families, and urban communities. She is the creator and author of Love In A Big World, which provides mental health, SEL, and wellness curriculum and content. During quarantine, Tamara created MusiCity Kids, an online educational show for kids ages 6-12 that addresses health, movement, character development, STEAM, and more.
